Unsure

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February 5^th, 2014

Off Camera

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Marie Jones is sitting on the sofa in her living room listening to the music on the radio.  Her eyes look steadfast and strong, but the truth is that she is more nervous than anyone could possibly know.  Jones had been locked in a relationship for awhile now with Damian Toole.  It was a relationship she thought she wanted.  It was a relationship she thought that was good for her.  She tried to convince everyone that she was ok, that Damian was ok.  But the problem is, she ultimately could not convince herself, not with the evidence on her cheek, the evidence of the abuse, both verbal and physical.

Marie has been ignoring his phone calls for too long now.  She has to deal with him.  She has to finish this.  She has to let him know that their relationship is over.  Telling him will be the difficult part and Marie knows this.  Damian’s temper is more than just “a little problem” as she has been telling everyone else.  Marie knows that Damian is a violent man who isn’t afraid to use force and intimidation to get his wishes.  He’s intimidated Marie in the past to get her to perform unspeakable acts for him.  He claims it was in the name of love.

If you love me, you’ll do this for me…

And just like most battered women, Marie bought that line.  She drank the kool-aid.  As difficult as it is, as challenging as this will be, Marie knows what she has to do, what she must do.  Tonight she has called Damian over to her house.  He has no idea of what is to come.  He thinks this is going to be a typical day for them.  Perhaps he can bully her into apologizing for ignoring his calls and then get to her to spread her legs for him?  That’s not going to happen tonight.  Tonight Marie plans on telling him off.  Tonight Marie plans on telling Damian exactly what she thinks.  Tonight Marie is going to break up with him and end this cycle of violence once and for all.

slowly comes to a halt and as the music fades out Marie sighs, gets up off the sofa, walks over to the stereo and turns off her CD.   Damian likes Marie to be wearing tight short skirts and tight low cut shirts that show plenty of cleavage.  Used to, Marie would bow to his every whim.  She’s through being his plaything.  She is wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, and a black hoodie.  In all, Marie looks extremely plain.  Her long red hair that extends to her shoulders and her soft lines and features is the only feminine thing about her tonight.  She doesn’t want Damian to have any impression that this is his little sex toy.  This is a strong independent woman.  This is Marie Jones.

At that time a knocking is heard at the door.  This startles Marie back to reality as she realizes that Damian has arrived.  Jones takes in a deep breath and lets it out before walking towards the front door, stopping only to take a quick glance at a photograph of herself and her son Sean.  Marie wanted more than anything else for Sean to have a male role model to look up to.  She felt that he needed a male to be a father figure, to teach him how to be a man.  This was part of the reason why she was willing to endure the abuse at the hands of Damian.  Marie was so desperate to have a role model for Damian that she blinded herself to his flaws.  It was thanks to the efforts of her sister Jessica and their mother Angelica that Marie was finally convinced that Sean really had all that he could ever need in the form of Marie and if Marie ever needed help raising him the entire Jones family was there was there as a support system.  Marie didn’t need to go to the first guy she found and recruit to be Sean’s father figure.

Besides, Damian damn sure doesn’t live up to the ideal model of role model.

The knocking is heard again, this time with an accompanying yell from a male voice standing on the other side of the door.  Obviously Damian is getting impatient.  It is a rather cold Boston night, so Marie can understand why he’d want in. But he can wait.  He won’t freeze to death.  And even if he did, she wouldn’t care.  Jones finally tears her gaze away from the photo of Sean and turns and walks back towards the front door.  Once she gets there she opens the door and Damian is seen standing there.  His massive frame and intimidating form, along with the nasty scowl on his face, is enough to nearly melt away all of the strength Marie had built up.

“Where the hell were you?” He shouts demandingly.  “I’ve been freezing my ass off out here!”

“Sorry.” She says weakly.

“Yeah, that’s a good word for you.  You haven’t returned any of my calls, you’ve been treating me like total garbage for the most part.  You are sorry.”

Damian pushes his way past Marie and into the home.  Her defenses seemed to have vanished.  She had thought about what she might say to him but when the time came for her to stand up for herself she just couldn’t do it.

“So, is the kid here?”

“Sean?”

“Yeah, him.  Is he here?”

Jones shakes her head.  “No, he’s with my sister tonight.”

A sinister grin forms on Damian’s face.  “Hey, that’s great, because that means you can get on your knees and do what you do better than anyone else.”

Marie watches as he takes off his belt and tosses it aside.  He then undoes his blue jeans and tosses them aside as well.  Damian is now standing there in just his wife beater and his boxers.  He grins as he points to his crotch.

“You know what to do.  I’ll even let you have the privilege of taking the beast out of his cage.”

The red head involuntarily gets down onto her knees just as Damian demanded.  She reaches out with her hands towards his crotch but then suddenly she stops.  Marie stops as the inner voices of her mother and her sister begin to speak to her and remind her just who she is…

…she is a Jones.  She is a strong, powerful, independent young woman and she does not have to take any of this from Damian.  She does not have to be this jerk’s personal slut just because he asks for it.

Jones stands up and immediately shakes her head.  “No.”

“No?!” Damian shouts incredulously, not wanting to believe he heard that word come out of her mouth.  “What the hell do you mean by that?!”

“I mean what I said, Damian.  No!”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time, but what I don’t get is why?” He glares nastily at her.  “Face it, bitch, you’re not good at anything else.  You’re a failure at everything else.  Pleasuring me is all you’re good at.  So get back down on your knees and do what women like you were born to do!”

“Do you want to know what I was born to do, Damian?  My mother is a nine time world champion and a member of three halls of fame.  My father is a former television champion and a member of the GDW hall of fame.  I was born to be a professional wrestler and I am pretty damn good at it if I do say so myself, so back the fuck off!”

“You dumb little bitch, you think you’re special?  You’re not special.  You’re pathetic.  Women like you need to learn their place and it sure as hell isn’t in a wrestling ring.  Your place is pleasuring me, doing whatever I ask.  It’s what you’re good at.  I know it from firsthand experience.  You remember, right?”

He snickers as he watches tears form in her eyes.  “Yeah, I knew you’d remember.  The blowing and the sucking…you were great.”

“Stop it…”

“Or what?  Are you gonna slap me?  You won’t dare.”

He’s right, she wouldn’t dare slap him.  Instead she punches him with a hard right hand to the jaw that sends him falling backward, his head smacking hard against the wall.  He quickly jumps up and balls up his fest.

“That’s it!  You’re dead!”

He swings for the fences but Marie ducks it and trips him up, sending him face first into a nearby table.  He staggers to his feet, holding his head which is now bleeding from the temple.

“I told you I was born to be a fighter.  I am good at more than you give me credit for, asshole, and I’ll tell you one more thing.  WE ARE THROUGH!”

Damian touches his temple and then brings his hand back down and looks at the blood.  He then looks back at Marie and glares angrily at her.

“You know what?  Fine!  That’s just fucking fine!  But I’m going to tell you one other thing, Marie…I’M GONNA…” Marie braces herself “…SUE YOU FOR ASSAULT!”

 With that said, Damian turns and storms out of the house, slamming the door shut behind her.  Jones cannot help but laugh uncontrollably.  For someone as intimidating, for someone who is such a bully, his best response to what just happened is to threaten a lawsuit on the basis of assault?  Let him challenge her in court.  She welcomes the chance to tell her story about this jerk.  She is through being weak.  Marie is going to stand up for herself from now on.

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Present Day

Off Camera

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It is a somber mood right now in the Boston, Massachusetts home of Marie Annabelle Jones and her husband Arthur Pond.  Normally the redheaded Boston native is a strong enough woman to face down any threat that comes her way.  This time things are different.  The threat that faces her now is a mental and emotional threat, targeting her very state of mind.  Since early April, the young Jones woman has been the target of harassment at the hands of her jealous and possessive ex-boyfriend named Damian Daniel Toole.

For years Marie and Damian had a rocky relationship; well, it was rocky as far as Marie is concerned. For Damian it was perfection.  He enjoyed manipulating and controlling young Marie through her own self-conscious emotional state of mind.  He enjoyed playing mind games to make her feel less and less confident in herself.  Through these emotional and mental attacks he managed to control her.  He enjoyed controlling her.

Things would get worse for Marie when she began to show interest in other men.  Casting the slightest gaze at another man would earn her the wrath of her boyfriend Damian.  That anger brought out an even worse side in Damian.  The emotional and mental attacks became physical attacks as he would beat her any time she showed an interest in anyone else other than him.

It was those physical attacks that would prove to be a turning point in their relationship.  Marie’s eyes slowly started to open up and she realized that she had to get away from Damian.  It took awhile but Marie managed to work up the courage to dump him and move on with her life.

Not only did she dump him, but she quite literally fought back when he tried to get his revenge right then and there by attacking her.  And Damian showed his true colors by merely threatening to sue her for assault.  It was an ironic twist of fate; someone who was quite the intimidating bully backed down very quickly when someone finally stood up for herself.

It should be easy, then, for her to tell him buzz off, shouldn’t it?

Ask any abused female and they’ll tell you it isn’t as easy as it sounds.  The mental and emotional scarring doesn’t always heal up quickly, if ever at all.  Despite the fact that Marie freed herself from that abusive relationship with Damian Toole, the damage he did to her mentally and emotionally was long lasting, if not permanent.  She still remembers what he did and a part of her still fears him, is still intimidated by him.

Thus we find Marie Jones sitting with both of her feet tucked up underneath her on her cream colored sofa in the living room.  Nervous tears are flowing down her cheek while her husband Arthur sits down next to her; he has a comforting arm wrapped around her shoulder.

A coffee table sits in front of the sofa.  On the table there is a set of a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates. These items, while ordinarily might be pleasant gifts, are actually further cause for concern.  For they did not come from Marie’s husband Arthur.  Instead they came from her ex-boyfriend Damian Toole.

“I’m coming to pieces, Arthur…” her voice trails off as she shakes her head slowly “…I’m coming to pieces and I have no idea how to put myself back together again.”

“It’s fine, Marie.” Arthur responds slowly and lovingly, planting a kiss on her cheek. “It’s fine and you will get through this.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No, I won’t!” Marie says, much louder this time. “You don’t get it, Arthur!  You just don’t get it! I thought I was strong enough to get rid of him before, and I was, but he came back.  He came back…”

Arthur notices the sorrow and despair in his wife’s voice.  He gently rubs her back in an attempt to calm her down.

“Being in abusive relationship is tough.  I’ve heard about them and dealt with them time and time again as a former counselor.  You showed tremendous strength to get out of that abusive relationship with Damian Toole and your strength has only grown since.  You definitely have the inner strength to beat this.”

“I may have been strong enough to beat him for a time, but he came back.  I clearly wasn’t strong enough to beat him for good.  Now look at me!  I’m a basket-case due to simply thinking about him!  Do you have any idea what I would do if he physically approached me?”

Arthur sighs and shakes his head. “Marie, I…”

“You don’t know.” Marie remarks, shaking her head. “And that’s the scary thing for me, because I don’t know what I would do.  I don’t know if I could be that strong person who stood up to him and beat him up or if my resolve would melt and I’d give in to him…”

“But Marie, you are strong.”

Arthur insists.  He tries to encourage her by squeezing her hands tightly and kissing her on the cheek.  But Marie doesn’t quite believe him.  She doesn’t believe in herself.  She sighs and shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, Arthur, but you have no idea how close I came to giving in that night.  You have no idea how close my resolve was to crumbling under the pressure.” She puts her feet on the floor and stands up. “I’m sorry I disappointed you, Arthur.”

“You don’t disappoint me.” Arthur stands up as well and gets eye to eye, nose to nose, with his lovely wife. “There is no right way or wrong way to deal with these types of things. Just promise me one thing, babe.”

“What’s that?”

“Do not just give him what he wants.  Do not give in to him.  You ARE stronger than that, do you hear me?”

“Yeah,” Marie says with a sad sigh “I hear you.”

Marie turns away from Arthur and exits the living room.  Marie heads slowly and quietly towards the staircase in the hall.  Looking up the stairs she takes a deep breath and begins her ascent.  She continues climbing until she gets to the top.  There she walks a very short distance down that hall until she reaches a slightly open door.  She pushes the door the rest of the way open and steps inside.  Inside she finds her and Arthur’s bedroom; the master bedroom.  She walks further inside and turns to the bed when she stops suddenly; she places her hands on her hips and glares disapprovingly at the sight she sees…

…Kimberly Williams, her identical twin sister, lying on the bed in nothing but eyelash lace underwire demi molded cup bustier with adjustable straps and garters, matching cotton crotch g-string and black hose.

“Kimberly!  What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Checking to see if your windows are secure.” Kim looks over at a window which is wide open.  She turns and looks back at Marie and smirks. “They’re not very secure.”

“You know you could have let yourself in the front door.”

“But that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun!” Kimberly swings her legs off the side of the bed and then hops up off of the bed.  “Admit it, Marie, you love it!”

“You know something, Kim…” Marie walks over and embraces Kimberly in a tight hug “…I am glad you’re here.”

Kimberly isn’t used to this kind of response to her usual fun and games.  She reluctantly hugs back.

“Uh, thanks sis, I guess.  Are you feeling ok?”

“More or less?”

Marie sighs as she sits down on the edge of the bed.  Kimberly scans her for a few moments, trying to determine what’s up with her identical twin.  Kimberly then approaches Marie and joins her on the edge of the bed.

“Clearly you’re not on the up and up.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Does it have anything to do with Katelyn Buehler?”

Marie and Katelyn Buehler have been engaged in a Best of Five Series.  The series is tied one match apiece as they head into WTF Wednesday for match three.  The SCW fans will get to vote on what kind of match they will have; a submission match, a finisher match, or a singles match.  Despite having lost match two to Katelyn at Unflawed, Marie is not too concerned as she heads into match three. She knows she has the talent and ability to defeat Katelyn Buehler so long as she can maintain focus.  It’s the focus part that has her concerned.  If she cannot deal with her Damian Toole issues then she may not be able to maintain focus on Katelyn Buehler and match three of the Best of Five Series.

“No, not Katelyn; I mean, I know we have a match coming up, but I know I can beat her.  I know I can beat her because I’ve beaten her before.  I’m just worried that my mind won’t be where it needs to be when I face Buehler in match three.”

“Where else would your mind be, sis?” Kim smirks. “Boy toy Arthur?”

“I wish.” Marie sighs. “More like Damian.”

“Who?” Kim asks with a confused look on her face.

“You know Damian, don’t yo…” Marie pauses and shakes her head “…sorry, I think he was a little before your time.”

“You mean before me and the family all kissed and made up?”

“Yeah.” Marie answers, nodding her head.

“Ok, so tell me about him.  Who is this Damian guy?”

“Damian was my ex-boyfriend.” Marie begins slowly she lowers her head so that Kimberly won’t see her cry. “He abused me, Kim.  Emotionally…mentally…and physically…he abused me.”

“What did he do?”

“He made me feel pathetic.  He made me feel like I was less of a human being.  I was just his fucktoy, his slut, that’s all I was to him.  And he made me believe that I was nothing more than just a slut.  And now…”

Tears flow freely from Marie’s eyes.  Kimberly feels a wash of emotions of her own, which is strange for a sociopath who claims to feel no emotions whatsoever.  She hugs her twin sister as a sense of rage washes over her; visions of what she’d like to do to this Damian as payback for what he’s done to her flash into her mind.

“…and now he’s sent me all of these gifts; chocolates and flowers…he claims he’s changed.  He claims he got help and he just wants to talk.”

“You’re not actually going to talk to him, are you sis?”

“The logical part of my mind says no, but my heart…” she shakes her head “…my heart believes in redemption, Kim.  I’ve needed redemption and I did redeem myself.  You needed redemption and you redeemed yourself.  My heart tells me to hear him out.  I just…”

Marie sighs deeply “…I just don’t know what to do.”

Kimberly gazes deep into her sister’s eyes. She smirks. “You want to give him a chance, don’t you?”

“How do you know?”

“You’re a sucker for heart-warming redemption stories, sis.  Unfortunately, this one could get you hurt, or worse.”

“That’s exactly why I’m confused.  Logic tells me not to chance it, but my heart says give him a chance.”

“Then give him a chance.” She points at herself. “Only more accurately, let me give him a chance.”

“You mean…” Marie’s voice trails off.  Kimberly nods her head.

“Yes, let me take your place.  Let me pretend to be you.  If I think he’s being honest, I’ll let you know it’s ok to talk to him.  If he’s still the same old jerk who abused you years ago…well…it’s best you not know.  Plausible deniability and shit.”

“But Kim, you can’t do that.  Dr. Warren and the treatments, you’ll…”

“Stop right there, sis.” Kimberly shakes her head. “You and I both know that I’ll never be the good girl you are, and you cannot be the monster that I am, the monster that can handle assholes like Damian.  He hurt you, Marie, and if he’s just going to hurt you again, then just let me have my fun…he deserves it for what he did to you.”

Marie and Kimberly lock eyes.  Marie knows it isn’t right to unleash an angry, unbalanced, psychotic Kimberly Williams upon an unsuspecting Damian Toole.  But she’s hurting right now, both emotionally and mentally, and her judgment just isn’t right.  Marie leans over and embraces Kimberly again.

“Thanks, Kim.  I love you…”

“Yeah…I love you too.”

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On Camera

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“Control your own destiny or someone else will.” --- Jack Welch

WTF Wednesday is the one night where the fans are in full control of our destiny.  They decide who will challenge for the championships.  They will decide the stipulations for the matches.  And that means, for myself and Katelyn Buehler, we are at the mercy of the fans.  Will we be in a submission match?  A Finisher Match?  Or a standard singles match?  It’s not up to us.  The fans will decide.  We have zero control.

I’m sorry, but I refuse to accept that my fate is in someone else’s hands.  I refuse to accept that I have no control over my own wrestling career.  You want to know why I refuse to accept that kind of logic?  Because under that logic, I could use fate as a crutch.  I could use it as an excuse as to why I lost…or won…to Katelyn Buehler.

I will never use destiny, fate, luck, lack of control, or any of that as an excuse.  At Unflawed I lost to Katelyn Buehler.  Simply put, on that night she was the better wrestler.  I make no excuses.  And at WTF Wednesday, there will still be no excuses.

Don’t blame the fans for our lack of control, don’t blame destiny, don’t blame anyone but yourself for not getting the win.  When the smoke is cleared, whoever loses should just look in the mirror to find out who is to blame for the loss.  Because at the end of the day the fans only control the match type Buehler and I compete in.  The match itself will still be determined, win or lose, by myself and Buehler, regardless of which match type the fans choose.

Fact is, and I speak only for myself when I say this, I am just as happy and just as comfortable and at home, in any of those three scenarios.

You may think I’d be at a disadvantage in a submissions match.  I do not use submission moves very often.  But let’s not forget who I am.  I am Marie Annabelle Jones, daughter of Angelica Jones who was the master of The Angel’s Arch.  My mother taught me The Angel’s Arch and, for the early portions of my career, that WAS my primary finishing move.  I stopped using it as much when I started expanding my moveset but that move, that elevated Boston Crab which has become famous within the Jones family line, is still there in the back of my mind.  I still know how to use it, I still know how to apply it, and I can guarantee you that all I need to do is place Katelyn in that Angel’s Arch one time and it’s over.

She’ll give because either her resolve or her back one will break.  No one survives the Angel’s Arch.  So go ahead, let’s go with the submissions match, I know I can win it.

Oh but if you want we could go with the Finishers Match.  I have planted Katelyn Buehler with Ave Maria before and I will do so again in the Finishers Match if that’s what the great SCW fan base chooses.  But then again, I do have other finishers that I haven’t broken out in ages…what if I dropped Katelyn on her head with The Vindicator?  And at the beginning of my career, I used my mother’s move, The Hot Shot, as my finisher.  Would that count?

In a finisher’s match, I have plenty of opportunities and plenty of means to drop Katelyn on her head to pick up a win.

Finally there’s the singles match; a good old fashioned standard singles match.  Nothing unique about the rules, just a straight up, one on one match.

Spoiler alert…this is the match I want.

Why do I want a normal singles match?  Let’s look at the submissions match and the finishers match; both have one thing in common…no disqualifications.  A submissions match only ends in a submission.  What’s going to happen when I lock in the Angel’s Arch and Buehler reaches the ropes and I don’t release the hold?  Are they going to disqualify me?  Or what if Katelyn and I use weapons against one another in the finishers match?  Are we going to get disqualified?

No.  The matches only end in submission and finishers respectively.

Does that prove anything?  Not necessarily.  All it proves is that you can win a fight.  This Best of Five Series is about who is the best wrestler and I want to prove that I am the better wrestler between Katelyn and myself.  I want to prove that I am a good enough wrestler and a wrestler deserving enough to be the next challenger for the SCW World Championship.

Thus far Buehler and I have had two great matches, two respectful matches, and we are all tied up at one match apiece. This is what a great wrestling series is all about.  Two warriors fighting for pride, for honor, all to see who is the best.  That’s why I want a singles match…so that we can continue this series the honorable way it started.

But I’m only one person, and the choice of match type Katelyn and I compete in will be outside of my control.  Our destiny, in that sense, is in the hands of the SCW universe.  And I’m ok with that, because no matter what the fans choose I am ok with it.  Even if they choose a submission match, I’ll be ok with making her tap out.  If they choose a finishers match, I’ll be ok with dropping her on her head with Ave Maria.

Though if I get my wish and get the singles match I want, then I will pin her shoulders to the mat for the three count.

The means of victory may be outside of my control but whether or not I achieve victory is most definitely within my control.  I have the full means and capability of defeating you, Buehler, in any match the SCW universe may choose.  And I am confident that I can and will defeat you in any match the SCW universe may choose, because once they make their choice, it will be my turn to take control, it will be my turn to make my choice…

…to win or to go home…

…I choose to win.