English Civil War

The museum is full of memories and that is why museums are so important.  It is important to always remember where we came from.  If you do not learn from the past then you are doomed to repeat it.  Jessica Lasiewicz knows this all too well and that is why she has brought herself here on this day to this particular museum.  The beautiful black haired woman strolls into the scene, stopping in front of a wall in which a portrait hangs.  The portrait is of a regal looking man with black hair on a white horse that makes him look almost like a conquering hero.

Conquerors are not always heroes and these images of the conqueror on a majestic white horse are oftentimes deceptive.  Oftentimes they tell half-truths while leaving the rest of the story untold.  Many times they only get us off to a start while we have to dig a little deeper in order to get the rest of the story.

Jessica, dressed in denim jeans, black boots, and a black “Apocalypse” t-shirt, turns around to face the camera.  She has her FWA Xtreme Championship belt draped over her right shoulder and a smug look is etched across her face.

“When you say Civil War, people in the United States usually think of the North versus the South.  People tend to think of Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, and Robert E. Lee.  The Civil War tends to evoke memories of the fight to abolish slavery in the United States.  But when you ask an Englishman about the Civil War memories of the English Civil War come to mind, for in England the outcome of their Civil War led to one of the most controversial events in the country’s history.”

Lady Gambit points with her thumb to the portrait behind her. “That man right there in the painting is Charles the 1^st, former King of England and a firm believer in the Divine Right of Kings, which is to say the belief that God appointed kings to rule nations and God could not be wrong and therefore everyone should just obey the king without question.  And if that wasn’t enough, Charlie here was arrogant and conceited.  He refused to accept the possibility that he was flawed, that perhaps he could be wrong.  That arrogance led him to many clashes with Parliament.  For a period of eleven years, known by many as the eleven years tyranny, he refused to let Parliament meet.  A Civil War was inevitable.”

“Scotty, my friend, we’ve already examined Louis XVI but now we’re going to examine Charles I of England for a close examination of him will also give you a look into your future.  You and Charles were both alike, Scotty.  You believe in that Divine Right of Kings.  You hold onto it like a crutch, like a security blanket, or a child holding onto a stuffed bear that makes him feel better when he is frightened.”

She chuckles lightly. “Not that I can blame you.  What was a promising career in FWA turned into a sideshow carnival act since you threw your lot in with Dante.  Not that Dante is a joke, mind you.  He is certainly a dangerous opponent, one whom I respect.  But the way you suck his dick, the way you have your head shoved so far up his ass, makes it hard for anyone to take your claim of Kingship seriously.”

 “You won a series of matches against an annoying yet very talented Leviticus, Scotty.  What happened?” Jessica shrugs her shoulders. “What happened, huh?  Where did you drop the ball?  What made you think Dante was the way to go?  FWA 2014 could have been The Year of The Last King but you threw it all away so you can give Dante blowjobs.”

“And as much as you may try to convince yourself, as much as Dante may tell you otherwise, The Divine Right of Kings does not apply to you.  Divine Right of Kings implies God supports a king and Dante is not a God.  God created Dante just like he created you and me, Scotty, and God can wipe us all out whenever he damn well feels like it.”

She snaps her fingers. “Just like that.  And just like that I will put you away on Mayhem.”

“Parliament could not take anymore of Charles I.  A Civil War broke out and the king’s forces lost.  He was put on trial of a jury of mostly those who wanted to see his head on a pike.  Not exactly a fair trial but when you are a failure as a monarch the way he was, you don’t generally get treated nicely.  If you piss off people, if you make enemies, you get their full wrath.”

“Scotty, your annoying prattling has pissed people off.  Your refusal to accept defeat like a man, your attempts to hide your failures with excuse after excuse after excuse has made enemies of many people, mostly people like me who respect this industry.  I come from a rich wrestling background, Scotty.  Andreas Lasiewicz fought from the bottom of the bottom to work his way up to the top of the mountain in professional wrestling.  Angelica Jones overcame many obstacles in her life, including a society that felt she shouldn’t be in a wrestling because she had boobs and a vagina, and she would become one of the first women to win a world championship.”

“My parents, the great Andreas Lasiewicz and Angelica Jones, drilled into my head a respect for this industry.  They taught me not to gloat when gloating was not deserved and never to make excuses for losing.  They also taught me to kick the ever loving shit out of idiots like you who do make excuses, who do disrespect this industry.  They taught me to take smug little bastards like yourself, who think they are better and bigger than this industry, and to bring them back down to earth.”

Jessica turns to face the portrait, staring at it for a moment before turning back around to face the camera.

“Not exactly my cup of tea, but I imagine someone found him handsome.  Too bad that he had to go and lose his head.”

Another chuckle escapes her lips. “Sorry, bad joke!  But seriously, after being tried and convicted, Charles I was executed.  His reign was over.  And that is your future, Scotty.  I am your judge, jury, and executioner and I will kill your pathetic career by cutting it off at the head and no Divine Right of Kings can save you.”

“However, while we are on the subject of the Divine Right of Kings, we must understand that if, just to play Devil’s Advocate, if there is a God who appoints these kings, kings such as Louis XVI and Charles I, both of whom ended up royally fucking up their kingdom and getting executed for it, that there must be another actor in play, another actor pulling strings, making sure God’s self-appointed kings are destined to fail.”

“The Morning Star.”

“You saw what The Morning Star did to Dakota Smith, Laurel Anne Hardy, and Brandy Daniele at Darkness Within, didn’t you Scotty?  It walked right into that cage and turned that cage into its own personal hell.”

She points a carefully manicured finger at the camera. “You are now about to set foot into my own personal hell, Scotty.  Every time I enter the ring I make that ring my own personal playground of torture.  Every time I set foot inside that ring I make it my domain, the place where I rule.”

“The lesson of Louis XVI and Charles I is that kings, just like any other human being, are destined to die.  The lesson is that no kingdom lasts forever.  Every kingdom falls, just as every human being has to die.  The fate of failed kings is decided either by a loving God who can forgive or by a menacing, vengeful, demonic force who wants nothing more than to see God’s appointed king suffer.  Your fate has already been decided by The Morning Star and I say off with your head…”