Morning Again

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February 22nd, 2019

Boston, Massachusetts

Off Camera

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Our Lady of the Annunciation Catholic Church towers high into the Boston, Massachusetts sky, looking ever so regal and majestic with its gothic architecture.  Standing outside, in the parking lot area, looking up with awe struck eyes at this awesome building, is Marie Annabelle Jones.  Despite being raised  Roman Catholic, despite being raised in this specific church, Marie is still impressed each and every time she sees the magnificent structure that now stands before her.  White marble steps lead up to a pair of impressive large brown oak doors.  The sides of this building are beautiful red brick that towers high into the sky, topped off by a white cross at its peak.  Jones wears a long flowing black maxi skirt, black high heeled pumps underneath, a white silk blouse, and a matching floral print black blazer.  Her long red hair hangs unrestrained to shoulder length.

The parking lot is practically empty with the exception of a handful of other vehicles.  Marie is the only person standing outside of her vehicle as she still stares at the awesome structure.  It’s approximately one hour before the start of mass and that is when the local priest tends to do confession.  She is here not just for that purpose, but for another reason; something else is troubling the mind of Marie Annabelle Jones on this day.

In fact, quite a bit has been bothering Marie for the past several weeks.  The fourth and final Breakdown of Katya’s total control over booking SCW has come to its conclusion and Marie is left in the same position she was in before; she was screwed out of a world championship and still unsure of who she can really and truly trust.  It’s the ultimate conundrum regarding the wrestling world; something her mother tried to warn her about long before she made her wrestling debut.

The backstage politics of professional wrestling are very crooked and you really cannot trust anyone except yourself and maybe family.  It’s a message that has been drilled into Marie’s head from day one, since her debut, and yet here she stood, side by side not with her mother but with Katya and Dark Fantasy, all in the hopes that they would do right by her.  And whether they have done right by her remains to be seen.

It bothers Marie because if they have indeed manipulated her this entire time, then she has gone up against her own family for nothing.  The one group that she knew she could trust she fought against; all for the slim hope of a world championship.

Yet that isn’t even the worst thing that has been bothering Marie lately.  It wasn’t but a few days before her world championship match against Syren when Marie’s husband, Arthur Pond, committed suicide.  Marie blames herself because they had the big argument, it was Marie who kicked him out of the house, but what she didn’t realize until much later was that Arthur had severe bouts of depression ever since the affair with Blake Mason came to light.

She wants to try and hear as much information about her husband’s fight with depression as she can.  It may not be a good idea, it may hurt her a lot more than it helps, but she has to know how big of a role she played in his depression and eventual suicide.  It’s doubtful she could get the psychiatrist he was seeing to tell her anything (privacy laws and all) but she knows that Arthur has been a lifelong attendee at Marie’s church, Our Lady of Annunciation Catholic parish.  There is a chance Arthur shared some of his problems with the priest, an elderly priest who has served this church for as long as the Jones family can recall; Father Larry Heiney.

Will Father Heiny tell Marie what she needs to know?  Doubtful.  Priests are also sworn to a certain level of secrecy and privacy, but there is a better chance of her getting information out of him than she has at getting anything out of the psychiatrist.  Father Heiney, at least, knows the Jones intimately.  There is a chance he might make an exception for old friends.

She notices another vehicle rolling into the parking lot.  Marie decides then to go ahead and make her way towards the church. It is best that she not get behind a long line of people wanting to go to confession.  Jones walks across the parking lot and up to the marble steps that lead to the front door.  Jones pulls the doors open and steps inside into the narthex where she immediately sees the vestibule, a large, standing font or pool used to perform the sacrament of Baptism.  Smaller, wall-mounted holy water fonts are found near the interior church doors.

The Phoenix approaches the inner doors, touches the holy water with her fingers, and makes the sign of the cross on her forehead and bows her head and mutters a low, quick prayer to herself, before entering the church sanctuary itself.  The sanctuary is carpeted with red carpeting which is very soft and comforting.  Two columns of pews are on either side of Jones as she looks down a long center aisle that leads up to the front of the church, the altar.  The altar and the pews are separated by a rail where worshipers may kneel if they so choose.  The altar itself is just behind the rail, as is a crucifix which is mounted on the wall.  Finally a pulpit is to the left.  Behind the pulpit is a beautiful life-size statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  On the opposite side of the Mary statue is a life sized statue of Joseph, holding the infant Jesus.

Marie takes in a deep breath and sighs as she approaches the altar where the Blessed Host rests for Eucharistic Adoration.  She reaches the front, takes another bow, and then walks over to one side of the railing and kneels at the altar where she begins to pray.

“Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.  Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.”

“O Christ Jesus, when all is darkness and we feel our weakness and helplessness, give us the sense of Your Presence, Your Love, and Your Strength.  Help us to have perfect trust in Your protecting love and strengthening power, so that nothing may frighten or worry us; for, living close to You, we shall see Your Hand, Your Purpose, Your Will through all things. Amen.”

Marie crosses herself and then takes some time to wipe tears from her eyes before resuming her prayers.  The next one, being as important as it is, she knows it in Latin.

“Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.”

At that moment, The Crown Jewel of Professional Wrestling feels a hand on her shoulder.  “Ms. Jones?”

Startled she turns with a bit of a jerk to see Father Larry Heiney standing just behind her.  His comforting, firm but gentle, right hand rests upon her shoulder.  Marie was so caught up in her own inner thoughts and spiritualism that she didn’t even realize he was approaching.  That or he’s just so quiet and stealthy like a ninja.  But this is who she came to see, so she lets out a sigh of relief.

“Hi, Father.  Are you doing well?”

“I’m doing fine, thank you.  But you are a little early, don’t you think?”

“Early?”

“For mass.” Father says with a pleasant smile. “But our Lord never turns anyone away.  If you want to continue worshiping here or if you wish, I am ready to take confessions at any time.”

“That’s nice, Father, and I think I will take you up on that offer for a confession later but…” her voice trails off, she pauses for a moment “...but there’s something else I need to speak with you about.  Heck, I’m not even sure you will be able to help me but I felt I should at least try.”

“It can’t hurt.” Father Heiny responds with a shrug of his shoulders.  “You and your family have been members of this parish for ages, since I’ve been here at least, and you know I would do anything to help you.”

“That’s good to hear, Father.” Marie says with a big sigh. “Because I want to know anything that you can tell me about my late husband Arthur.”

“I see.” The pause and the look on the elderly priest’s face confirms to Marie that he is having difficulty with this request.  At the very least, he is unsure as to where she plans to go with this and thus whether or not he can actually help her in the way she wants.  Marie braces herself for a negative response when finally…

“Follow me.” He motions to a side door the left of the altar.  Marie stands up and follows the elderly priest through the door and into a hallway area.  The walls are lined with portraits, icons, and other images of various saints, depictions of  Christ, and The Blessed Virgin Mary.  It is a rather long hallway for it is a rather large building but once they reach the end of the hall they make a sharp right and enter into an office, presumably Father Heiney’s office.

The office was a state of half organized clutter; it was painted grey, and it had only one floor-to-ceiling window, which faced the main road.  On the mahogany desk we see a desktop computer, several stacks of paperwork, pens in a tin, floor to ceiling bookshelf, books leaning against one another different directions, a notebook lying open, and a stack of papers sitting under a turtle-shaped paperweight. In a corner, the air conditioner was blasting at medium, and there was a swivel chair in the middle of the office. A bookshelf, bursting with books was in a corner, with yet another stack of papers under a paperweight that was shaped to look like a tuft of grass. A few pens were lying on the papers, but some had fallen onto the top of the bookshelf.  Off to the side was a filling cabinet with paper work stacked on top, water dispenser with no cups.

“Have a seat.” Father Heiney instructs Marie, motioning to two chairs in front of the mahogany desk.  Father Heiney, meanwhile, takes his seat in the black swivel chair behind the desk.  Marie sits down and faces Father Heiney, awaiting his next response.

“I hope you do not mind that we speak back here in my office.  It’s just that I know that you must still be grieving over your loss, I’m sure you prefer the privacy as well.  Plus, I honestly have no idea what you are about to ask me about your husband but whatever you ask, I will do my best to answer.”

“Thank you, Father.” Marie nods her head and then takes in a deep breath, letting it out, before she prepares her question. “And I understand the need for privacy.  Some of what I may want…need to know may have been revealed in confession.  And I know how important it is to maintain the secrecy.”

“It isn’t really secrecy we’re trying to maintain when it comes to confession, Marie.  The standard of secrecy protecting a confession outweighs any form of professional confidentiality or secrecy. When a person unburdens his soul and confesses his sins to a priest in the Sacrament of Penance, a very sacred trust is formed. The priest must maintain absolute secrecy about anything that a person confesses. For this reason, confessionals were developed with screens to protect the anonymity of the penitent. This secrecy is called ‘the sacramental seal,’ ‘the seal of the confessional,’ or ‘the seal of confession.’  Without this seal, without the trust my parishioners have in me, they would never again come to me for penance, to get the sin off of their soul.”

“Oh I know,” Marie nods her head “that’s why I said earlier that I’m not even sure you can help me with this problem I have.”

“I do hope that I can help you.” Father Heiney continues. “I hate to see anyone grieving the way you have.”

“Thank you.” She crosses her legs and brushes some of her hair out of her face.  She’s fidgeting, as this is painful for her, but she knows she must get through this. “Do you recall when I confessed to you that I broke my marital vow?  That I had an affair.”

“Yes, I remember this.” Father Heiny nods his head solemnly. “You were quite shook up about it and you were very penitent.”

“It hurt Arthur very badly and it nearly destroyed our marriage.” Marie says quietly with shame in her voice.

“But you worked things out, correct?” Father Heiney asks.

“I thought we had worked things out…” Marie’s voice trails off as tears begin to reemerge.  Father Heiney hands her a tissue.  She nods her head to thank him and then wipes the tears from her eyes before continuing. “...but I didn’t realize just how much Arthur had been holding back his pain.  I had no idea how much Arthur was still hurting until shortly after he killed himself.”

“I see.” Father Heiney says slowly with a look on his face that indicates he seems to realize where this is all going.

“Don’t ask me how she found out, but my sister Kimberly found out that he had been secretly seeing a psychiatrist to deal with a severe bout of depression ever since the affair came to light.  And then he and I had this big fight and I kicked him out and I…” Marie cannot finish the sentence.  It is too painful.  But Father Heiney knew exactly what she was going to say.  It wouldn’t be hard for anyone to figure out what she was about to say.

“Do not blame yourself, Marie.  This was not your fault.”

“It’s easy for you to say but I refuse to believe it until I have proof.  Father, it seems painfully obvious to me that he was on the edge already and I pushed him over that cliff by kicking him out of the house.” She shakes her head. “I never would have done it had I realized what condition he was in at the time.”

“You had no way of knowing, Marie.”

“That doesn’t excuse anything and it doesn’t explain to me why it isn’t my fault.  I pushed him to kill himself. I did it.” She sighs. “I may as well have pulled the trigger.”

There is a long pause as a stillness enters the room after Marie makes that statement.  She is looking down at the floor in shame, unwilling and unable to look the elderly priest in the eyes as she is thoroughly convinced that she pushed her husband to kill himself.  The silence goes on for several more seconds before Father Heiney finally breaks the ice…

“You know something, Marie; everyone just assumes that a priest can never ever disclose the discussion between the clergy and the penitent.”

“But that’s the truth.  You can’t tell me anything Arthur told you in the weeks leading up to this.”

The elderly priest shakes his head, indicating that Marie is mistaken. “No, a priest cannot disclose what goes on behind the confessional doors.  However, a priest may ask the penitent for a release from the sacramental seal to discuss the confession with the person himself or others.”

“Really?  I did not know that.”

“Most like to hear only the parts of our church’s rules that they want to hear while ignoring those rules we honor just as equally.  And to answer your next question, yes, your husband did grant me permission to discuss his problems with you but only in the event of his demise and only if you asked.” The priest sighs. “He felt that if you didn’t ask then that meant you had moved on just fine without him and that you didn’t need me to dredge up the problem all over again.”

Marie is shocked to hear this and at first is delighted that she will get to hear the answer to her question, because Father Heiney was released from his sacramental seal by Arthur before he died.  But then a realization of what this means hits her.  If she is right, that she is at fault, Father may be just moments away from confirming it.  Does she really want to hear the answer to this question?

“So tell me.  I have to know, am I directly responsible for Arthur going over the edge and killing himself?”

“I tried telling you this entire time that you are not responsible.  You are not to blame.  But if you need further proof, Marie, then I can tell you that Arthur, unfortunately, had been suffering from this severe depression for a very long time.  His battle with depression had been going on since before you even met the poor man.  Your affair with Mr. Mason, though it was sinful, was not what drove him to depression.  He already was in that state long before he met you.”

Marie nods her head.  It is at least somewhat comforting to know that she did not directly drive him into a state of depression.  Still, she silently thinks that the affair combined with her kicking him out of the house may have been the straw that broke him mentally.  Is she to blame?  Marie no longer thinks that she is to blame.  But she does wish things could’ve turned out better for him.  She wishes that he didn’t have to go to the drastic lengths that he did.

“Thank you, Father.” Marie stands up, as does Father Heiney. “I appreciate this more than you will ever know.”

“I am glad that I could help.” The elderly priest leans in and embraces Marie in a tight hug. “Like I said, I want to help you in any way I can to get over this grieving process.”

“This was just another step in that direction, but at least it was a step forward and not a step back.  Arthur was just…” she sighs and shakes her head “...for all of his faults and flaws, he was very good with my kid.”

“Yes, Sean is very important to you.”

“Of course.” Marie nods her head. “That’s why I went above and beyond the call of duty to try and make things work out between Arthur and I.  Arthur was a good father figure for Sean.”

“Forgive my intrusion into your business, but may I ask you one question?”

“Sure, Father.  Anything.” Marie responds.

“Do you really think your son NEEDS a father figure in his life?”

“Um, yes, of course.” Marie stammers over her words as she was taken aback by the priest’s question. “I never got a real father figure in my life.  My father was taken from me.  I wanted my son to have the father I never got.”

“I understand that, and he is your child to raise how you wish, but I want you to consider something as you try to move on with your life.  Your mother and your aunt lost their mother and their father abandoned them when they were thirteen and twelve respectively.  Their entire teenage lives and most of their adult lives was spent without any father OR mother figure in their lives.  Then look at your sister…”

“Which one?  Kim or Jessica?”

“Kelly.”

Marie nods her head.  With her super busy schedule wrestling for SCW it becomes easy for Marie to forget about little Kelly, the youngest of Angelica’s children.  She was born to Angelica and her third husband Sean McBride.  Angelica and Sean broke up shortly after Kelly’s birth. 

“Kelly has never had a male role model in her life, am I correct in that observation?”

“Yes.  Mom swore off men for good after her relationship with Sean fell apart.”

“And Kelly has come along just fine without a father.  She’s ready to take First Communion soon.”

“So what you’re saying is that my son doesn’t need a father?” Marie asks quizzically.

“Not necessarily.  If the right man were to come along then wonderful, God has granted you and your son a gift.  But your son is strong, he has that Jones blood running through his veins, he can survive without a father.  Besides, there are plenty of good male role models in his life.” Father Heiney places a hand on her shoulder. “And I think you’re doing a fine job of raising him as it is.  Who says a woman can’t raise a child by herself if she has to?  Certainly not me.”

Marie smiles warmly. “Thanks, Father.”

“It’s just some advice, because I have been a part of your family’s life for a very long time.  I’ve seen your ups and your downs.  And I have seen you fall into this trap, desperately trying to get a steady relationship with just about any man you think might make a good father for your son.  It hasn’t worked out for you thus far, has it?”

“I guess not.” Marie shakes her head. “Damian was physically abusive and Arthur, while he may have meant well, was emotionally and mentally abusive.”

“I’m not here to judge.  Judge not lest ye be judged.  But I am here to warn you not to put all your eggs into one basket, so to speak.  Don’t go looking for a relationship only for a father for Sean.  You are an important person as well, Marie Annabelle.  Never forget that.  Never forget that YOU are just as important in the eyes of Our Lord as all of his other wonderful creatures.”

                                     

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On Camera

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The yellow shining sun started rising from the ground. It filled the sky with mighty colours of red and splashed the clouds with endless rays of pink.  Sunlight filled the sky, pure scattered light; its hue ambitiously illuminating each crevice of the land. Sparrows chirped an explicit background melody.  The trees shone as if they were wearing golden crowns and the vast sea was not able to absorb the bright sparks of the sun.The tides on the sea were racing among each other to reach the horizon from where the mighty godlike sun appeared.  This morning’s sunrise was a breathtaking display of radiant colors. Bright streaks of red, pink, and orange slowly overcame the dark blue and purple of the twilight sky. The sky resembled a prism; all the colors blended perfectly into each other. The sun itself was just peeking out of the horizon, and its brilliant rays already shined brightly and began to warm the air.

It is at this point that we see a beautiful young lady stepping into the scene from stage left.  This young lady has shoulder length straight red hair and she is dressed in a black leather mini skirt that extends to just above the knee and a long sleeve black sweater.  Her feet are encased in black leather pumps and she stares intensely at the camera.  This is “The Phoenix” Marie Annabelle Jones.

“To quote the fortieth president of the United States, it is morning again in Supreme Championship Wrestling!” She snickers. “Ok, well, maybe The Gipper didn’t exactly say it like that but you get the point. There were a lot of people happy to see him elected and there seems to be just as many people thrilled to see the four weeks of Katya and Dark Fantasy rule in SCW coming to a close.”

“I thought I knew what I wanted when I chose to throw my lot in with Katya.  I thought her and Dark Fantasy had my best interests at heart.  Now, after the four weeks are over, I’m left still just as confused as ever.  I’m still left feeling just as I felt before...like I cannot really trust anyone except for myself…”

“Therein lies the lesson I learned throughout this whole ordeal.  If there is any silver lining amongst the dark clouds of doubt that now have come after the four weeks of Katya and now the sudden revelation of Mr. D stepping down, it is the fact that at least I now have learned the hard way that at the end of the day, the only person who I know will always have my back and who will always do right by me is myself.”

She holds up two fingers. “Twice now I’ve had opportunities at the world championship.  I have no problem admitting that Sienna Swann got the better of me at the End of the Year Show.  There is no shame in losing to her.  Hell, there is no shame in losing to Syren but I had her dead to rights until everyone and their mother decided to stick their nose into my business.”

“So from now on I trust no one but myself and the decision that I make will be for my best interests, not Katya or Sasha or anyone else.  Just me.  Twice now I’ve taken world champions to their limit only to be denied, once by my own fault and another by someone else’s.  Now I step into the ring against someone I legitimately am honored to step into the ring and face off, someone I’ve wanted to test my skills against since I signed with SCW years ago.”

“Make no mistake about it, Kennedy, I’m not just going to push you to your limit. I’m going to push you past your limit, past anything you’ve ever been able to take, and then I’m going to make you realize that on this night, the night of Breakdown, you will be completely and utterly unable to hang with The Crown Jewel of Professional Wrestling.”

“We’ve taken similar paths, you and I.  We’re both from wrestling families...the Streets and the Jones...we’ve both taken darker paths and done things that we’re not exactly proud of but we’ve both battled back from that and earned our redemption…”

She winks into the camera “...no relation to James and Angelica, by the way.”

“But when I think about sunrise, when I think about a new morning I think about the beginning of a new day.  A new days means a new chance and a new opportunity to make things right.  Perhaps things were not exactly made right at Making Things Right?  Maybe I haven’t made all the right decisions lately.  I’m going down that path right now and I’ll decide for myself where my loyalties lie but regardless of whether I’m Team Sasha or Team Katya or Team SCW or Team Wonderland, regardless of whether I’m cheered and beloved by the fans or hated and reviled, regardless of all that, one thing stays the same about me.”

She holds up one finger. “The desire to compete and be the best.  And the old saying is that to be the best you have to beat the best.  Kennedy, whatever you think of me and the choices I have made, I do think of you as one of the best to set foot inside of an SCW ring.  Which is why it is now my duty to take you down, not for Katya and damn sure not for Syren.”

She pats herself on the chest. “But for me, to prove to myself and to anyone who doubts me that I am exactly what I say I am...The Crown Jewel of Professional Wrestling.”